McLintock! [1963] and The Hottie and the Nottie [2008]

I'm watching 50-some odd Shakespeare adaptations this year and then writing about them for My Year of Shakespeare.

When I was growing up during the 90s, when I started reading my parents' Entertainment Weekly, there seemed to be a consensus opinion that the mid-to-late 90s was the nadir of cinema, that everything that was being committed to the celluloid was the most terrible, formulaic trash ever not-thought up.

This opinion clearly ignored the existence of the John Wayne western and couldn't have anticipated the Paris Hilton vanity romcom.

McLintock!

This is ostensibly based on The Taming of the Shrew. I guess if you squint you can see it. For anyone who actually watched along with me, I owe you an apology for putting you through this; I failed to anticipate that they could make it Even Weirder by putting in the phenomenon of regressive fathers wanting to control their daughter's sexuality AND screeds about the businessman not wanting government regulation or interference, both as forms of wish fulfillment power fantasy. Also, racism.

Summary

For most of this post series, I'm going to try to surmise the plot based solely on the adaptation; I don't have a deep bench with Shakespeare with the possible exception of Romeo & Juliet. As a structuring principle, I'm borrowing the Just King Things five-sentence summary approach.

[1] George Washington "GW" McLintock (John Wayne) is the biggest landowner in Mesa Verde, having amassed his fortune in cattle after unspecified wars with the Comanche; he lives on a sprawling estate with manservants and various feral children, but his wife, Kate (Maureen O'Hara), is estranged, living back east. [2] In town, McLintock meets a fiery young man named Devlin (Patrick Wayne) and tells him the value of a day's work, as well as the value of free trade. [3] When McLintock's daughter Becky returns back from "out east", Kate returns as well, seeking a divorce; the daughter brings a "dude" suitor from Purdue along with. [4] Through the redemptive power of fisticuffs, the fiery young man beats up anyone that would talk to Becky; this impresses McLintock so well that he lets him spank his daughter, which corrects the impulsive behaviors she learned in college. [5] Through additional hijinks, his wife ends up being chased through town in her modest old-timey undergarments and spanked in front of everyone; the entire town laughs, as this is a good thing, I guess.

My Thoughts

I think the only positive thing I have to say about this is the roughly ten minutes of uncontained brawl in the middle of and end of this movie are so intelligently choreographed. The Blazing Saddles finale was only a slight exaggeration from what they're doing here. Shame about the other 110 minutes of movie.

The grossness of this film has me reviewing my tentative schedule to remove other "western" adaptations, particularly ones involving John Wayne. That's not the kind of media I want to watch nor encourage others to watch.

The Hottie and the Nottie

I went into this with incredibly low expectations and those expectations were met. This was a largely inert film that felt like a homeopathic adaptation of The Taming of the Shrew, like maybe one of the writers' friends had watched it at their local Shakespeare in the Park, then tried to recount the plot to the writer, despite the writer not actually listening to the friend.

If there is a reason to watch this movie, it is to understand why you may need to film a scene more than once (for coverage, to establish continuity, etc); many of the conversation scenes looked like they were filmed in re-shoots or one-on-one in close-up with the actors so it wasn't revealed someone in the scene was absent.

Summary

Ever a glutton for punishment, I'm doing this one too.

[1] Nate Cooper's (Joel David Moore) life is in shambles; he, a dweeb, has never been able to keep a relationship together because he has a debilitating crush on a girl he met in 6th grade, Cristabel Abbott (Paris Hilton's OC do not steal). [2] He stalks her after his most recent relationship crashes down around him, and they reconnect; also reconnecting is Cristabel's ugly friend, June Phigg (Christine Lakin) who exists, charity case that she is [this is the movie's framing of this], as the sole member of Cristabel's entourage. [3] Cristabel will not date until June can get a date, so Nate, in an attempt to get into her pants, tries to set his friend up with her; by happenstance, the group ends up meeting Johann, a plane-flying, Harvard-educated dentist who does ab modelling on the side with a heart of gold, who helps June with various referrals and cosmetic procedures while Nate seethes and gets jealous, driving Cristabel away from him. [4] Nate realizes that Johann just wants to have sex with June and, through flashbacks that don't really feel earned, discovers that he actually loved June the whole time, but had blocked it out because she was ugly (and remembers now because the ugly makeup has been removed). [5] Pop punk music outro over credits, the end.

My Thoughts

Lets start with the obvious, you should not watch this movie. Hilton, somehow, puts in the best performance of the entire cast; did everyone else just turn in goofy ones? did no one else even bother to try? It's impossible to say. Much of everything felt like the 2013 Eric Roberts vehicle "A Talking Cat" by way of a lesser Farrelly brothers comedy.

Like I mentioned in its preface, this was not really adapting Shakespeare; this was a mess that traded on a lot of hackneyed tropes like "ugly girl takes off her glasses" and bore only the most superficial of resemblances to "The Taming of the Shrew".

To it's credit, it's got a pretty alright of-its-time soundtrack that wouldn't be out of place on, say, The O.C.

That's a wrap on "The Taming of the Shrew"

I would not say, as a blanket statement, that I found much joy in watching these; with the exception of "10 Things I Hate About You", the story in general is fairly regressive, a story about the problems caused by men who refuse to grow up and the women who have to deal with them. I think a lot of what works in "10 Things" is due in part to aging down the setting to high school — there's an understood impermanence there that isn't present in the others, as well as a demonstration of flexibility and charm on Ledger's part that is not there in the others.

Overall rankings, because the internet cannot let things exist on a pass/fail spectrum:

#1: 10 Things I Hate About You
2: Deliver Us From Eva
3: The Taming of the Shrew (1967)
4: Kiss Me Kate
▲ Watchable // Not Watchable ▼
5: McLintock!
DNQ: The Hottie and the Nottie - Not an adaptation, but strictly as a movie, worse than McLintock

Next Week

We're watching Romeo and Juliet adaptations - the schedule is as follows:

• Feb 7: Romeo and Juliet (1968)
• Feb 14: Romeo + Juliet (1996)
• Feb 21: West Side Story (1961) and West Side Story (2021)
• Feb 28: China Girl (1987)

Thank you for reading My Year of Shakespeare. If you have any thoughts, responses, etc, please feel free to write me an email (my email address will show up on the banner if you are signed in).